A ‘Hotel’ That Comforts Families in Trying Times

When it comes to charitable contributions, many people find that a gift of time is more meaningful and can have a greater impact than a cash contribution. In the coming months, Out & About will continue to profile some of these volunteers, along with the program in which they serve. The series is run in cooperation with the state Office of Volunteerism, and we hope it will show readers how they can improve their communities by volunteering their time and talents. For information about volunteering opportunities throughout the state, visit VolunteerDelaware.org.

Volunteers are essential to Ronald McDonald House as it hosts loved ones of seriously ill children

Sara Funaiock describes the Ronald McDonald House of Delaware as “a very specialized hotel,” and that’s not solely because of its client base, the families of seriously ill children who must go to the Nemours Alfred I. DuPont Children’s Hospital across the street for treatment.

What helps make the 50-room residence special is that it has only seven people employed full-time to keep it running. “Most of the day-to-day operating parts of the house are accomplished by volunteers,” says Pam Cornforth, the organization’s president and CEO.

Volunteers who check in families when they arrive, volunteers who show the families to their rooms, volunteers who answer the phone, make coffee and even bring the food and cook dinner for an average of 85 people every night.

“We couldn’t do what we’re doing without them,” says Funaiock, the house’s volunteer manager. “They’re part of a team that operates in a very special environment.”

The volunteer army is 430 members strong, she says, and they provide “heart and soul, and a lot of things we take for granted that bring comfort to families.”

And there are plenty of families to serve. In 2017, 1,726 families stayed at the house, with the average stay a little over 10 days, Cornforth says. Many families stay a couple of days at a time, while others, depending on their child’s condition, may stay seven or eight months, perhaps longer.

No matter how long a family stays, it’s up to the volunteers to make them comfortable, so they’re rested and ready for whatever the next day brings.

Pamela Cornforth, president and CEO of the Ronald McDonald House of Delaware.

“I’m strictly a kitchen volunteer,” says 54-year-old Gretchen Parisi, a freelance healthcare writer from Kennett Square, Pa. Every other Wednesday morning, she arrives at the house to “clean every nook and cranny, every microwave, every counter. I clean out the refrigerators when a family checks out.”

She says she finds it rewarding “to make families’ time here as pleasant as it can possibly be under the circumstances.”

Able? Then Volunteer

Dawn DeMuth, a 55-year-old from Landenberg, Pa., who, like Parisi, has volunteered at the house for three years after a career of working for nonprofits, shares her colleague’s sentiments. While taking a break from cleaning the kitchen, she asserted that “if you’re able to give, you should volunteer. I’m fortunate that I have the time to be able to help.”

While Parisi and DeMuth are regulars on the cleanup team who pitch in wherever else they’re needed, there’s no telling what Dan Szymanski might be doing on any given day.

Szymanski, 60, from Bellefonte, “is our uber volunteer,” Parisi says.

Indeed, the retired oil refinery equipment operator estimates he now puts in about 750 hours a year at the house—and he started 15 years ago. His service is so valued that last year he was named the winner of the house’s Big Shoes to Fill Award. The recognition includes naming one of the house’s guest rooms in his honor for a year.

“I may be here a lot,” he says, “but I’m not allowed to sleep in it.”

Szymanski is at the house three days a week, sometimes for two or three hours, sometimes for eight. It depends on what’s needed on a particular day.

“He’s great. He knows so many parts of the house,” says Katie Johnson, the operations director.

Cleaning the kitchen, working the front desk, setting up and taking down holiday decorations, helping at special events, driving families to the hospital, the supermarket or the mall, even giving tours—Szymanski can do it all.

“He gives a great tour,” Johnson says, noting that Szymanski’s commentaries have resulted in the recruitment of numerous new volunteers and committee members for the house.

A Life-Changer

Volunteering at the Ronald McDonald House changed his life, Szymanski says, transforming him “from a selfish person to a very giving person.”

“Community service is something people say they want to do, and it often gets put on the back burner,” he says.  “Then, when I was 43, my parents died, my brother had a brain tumor, I lost my job, I got a divorce, so my whole life collapsed.”

He left a big house in Middletown and was living in a subsidized rental housing unit when he called a friend, Diane Thompson, who was then the house’s operations manager. “I came up here one day, to play my guitar for the kids, not knowing there aren’t too many kids here during the day, and they wouldn’t let me out the door,” says Szymanski. “They heard I could fix things, and they say, ‘before you leave, can you fix this?’ Fifteen years later, I’m still here.”

Working at the house makes Szymanski and other volunteers thankful. “When I first saw boys 8 years old who were excited because they weren’t going to have any more chemo, I started to realize that I would be OK,” he says.

While Szymanski, DeMuth and Parisi may be typical of the house’s volunteers, the program’s support comes in many different ways.

Teen volunteers, many of whom start through a 10-week summer program, are welcomed, especially since many enjoy working on craft projects or playing games with the siblings of children being treated at the hospital.

Groups provide a notable service by cooking dinner each night. Sometimes it’s a business group, or a family, or a social club, or even a team of nurses from the hospital, but it usually takes a team of about 10 people who buy the food, bring it to the house, prepare it in the oversized kitchen and serve an average of 85 people a night. Staff members give the dinner crew serving tips before they arrive and explain the basics of safe food preparation before they start cooking, Funaiock says.

She is proud that the house’s volunteers seem to serve as the program’s greatest ambassadors, often recruiting another family member, a roommate or a friend or neighbor to join the team.

“When they see what our families are going through, they immediately know that they are bringing comfort. It’s not that they’re solving a problem, but they’re going one step toward helping them,” she says. “They know they’re part of something bigger, a community coming together to help these families.”

Seeking Volunteers

The Ronald McDonald House is seeking volunteers who can make a regular commitment to a minimum of two three-hour shifts each month for six months to one year. The house has a particular need for adult volunteers, post-high school, over 18 years old, on weekend shifts, from 6-9 p.m. Friday through 6-9 p.m. Sunday. Enrollment begins March 1 for summer teen volunteers, who are asked to commit to serving one three-hour shift weekly for 10 weeks.

More details are available at the Ronald McDonald House website, rmhde.org, or by contacting Sara Funaiock, s.funaiock@rmhde.org.

Buy a Shamrock Shake, Help Ronald McDonald House

If you stop at a McDonald’s restaurant this month, top off your Big Mac or Happy Meal with a Shamrock Shake. You’ll be helping the Ronald McDonald House. The campaign is the result of a partnership among Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, the Philadelphia Eagles and McDonald’s that led to the opening of the first Ronald McDonald’s House in Philadelphia in 1974.

The Rewards Of Helping Others

Research—and anecdotal evidence—demonstrate that volunteering helps the volunteer too

People who volunteer their time say they get as much out of their work as the people, or in some cases, the animals, they serve. 

Take Jim McVoy, for instance. McVoy, 71, of Coatesville, Pa., has volunteered with Tri-State Bird Rescue & Research, Inc. in Newark, for 12 years. Last April, he had an experience that is not untypical of his service there. He received a call about an injured duck hiding under a bush in front of a house. When McVoy went to the house, he was surprised to find that the people who called were former students of his from West Chester University, where he had been a music professor. After a joyous greeting, he examined the bird.

“The injury looked so bad I didn’t think there was any way the bird could be saved,” he says. “It had a major wound on its side that was consistent with an animal bite.”

McVoy, who performs basic medical procedures on injured birds, took the Gadwall, a type of duck, to the clinic, which last year treated more than 3,000 ill, injured and orphaned birds. There, the wound was surgically closed and sutured and the duck was given antibiotics and pain medication. The only thing left for the staff to do was hope for the best.

Much to their surprise, the duck began to recover and thrive. Tri-State fed it and made sure it got some exercise (swimming) until it was deemed ready for release. Six weeks later, the Gadwall flew across a lake in the Middle Creek Wildlife Management Area in Pennsylvania.

Jim McVoy

The experience was just one of many that confirmed to McVoy that he made the right move when he retired from West Chester in 2006.

“I sometimes wonder what my retirement might be like if I weren’t doing this,” he says. “I would say that volunteering has definitely made me healthier and happier.”

Health Benefits

Studies support that thought. Volunteering is not only linked with better mental and physical health, but volunteers are happier than non-volunteers. And the more you volunteer, apparently, the happier you are. Compared with people who never volunteer, the odds of being “very happy” rose 7 percent among those who volunteer monthly and 12 percent for people who volunteer every two to four weeks, researchers say.

Delawareans are no slouches when it comes to giving their time to worthy causes. Based on 2015 data from the Corporation for National and Community Services, 25.9 percent of Delaware residents volunteer, ranking the state 28th among the 50 states and Washington, DC.

Sometimes, both animals and people are involved in the volunteer effort. PAWS for People, for

Denise Lopes with Roger and an extended care facilities resident. Photo Lynn Porro

instance, is a pet therapy non-profit in Newark. Denise Lopes, of Wilmington, has been volunteering there for four years, partnering with Roger, a 12-year-old golden retriever, to visit local extended care facilities and other sites to offer companionship and comfort.

On one of their outings, Lopes, 59, was struck by how simple it was to bring joy to people who were suffering. She and Roger were visiting residents at a “memory care” section of an area assisted-living facility, where they were directed to a large room with a TV. About 15 residents, some in wheelchairs, sat around the perimeter of the room.

Roger went to a senior, who greeted him with hugs. Then, his tail wagging, the dog walked from person to person, greeting everyone in the room. The residents petted and hugged him, and some recalled pets from long ago.

“I could see the joy in their eyes and in their smiles,” says Lopes, an associate teacher at Wilmington Friends School.

By the time Roger had completed the circuit, he had to walk back to the first resident and do another round of greetings because they forgot that he had already acknowledged them.

“It was humbling because for us it (visiting) was such an easy thing to do, yet it was something important because it brought them joy,” says Lopes. “In that moment they were smiling, in that moment they were comforted, in that moment they forgot where they were, in that moment they had peace. I can’t imagine not doing this.”

Good for the Soul

Matthew Bowe, 28, feels the same way. “It (volunteering) feeds one’s soul in a way material things never could,” says the Newark resident.

Matthew Bowe. Photo courtesy of Authority Media Group

A financial advisor at Alvini & Associates, P.A., in Wilmington, Bowe is one of 12 volunteers on the Ministry of Caring Millennial Committee. The committee raises funds to benefit childcare programs run by the Ministry, which provides services for those living in poverty in Wilmington.

As a fundraiser, Bowe has learned that, regardless of how long and hard you organize and prepare for an event, problems are bound to occur, and it’s up to volunteers to overcome them and accomplish the goal.

The Ministry’s all-you-can-eat crab fest, for instance, has run into challenges the last two years. In 2016, after almost a year of coordinating, organizing, and lots of pizza at monthly meetings, Bowe and the committee were confident they were ready for their first fundraiser. Everything was in place for the four-hour event at the Cavaliers Country Club in Newark. Twenty bushels of crabs, beer, liquor, wine, and two bands were ready. The games—Russian horseshoes, cornhole, Kan Jam and beer pong—were set up, as was the photo booth.

Then someone noticed that something was missing: paper towels—a small but necessary item at an all-you-can-eat crab fest where 200 people were expected. Luckily, a caterer had enough napkins for the folks who showed up.

Last year, the committee experienced another mishap: a water valve, needed to steam crabs, broke two hours before the doors were to open. A quick run to a local store and an installation took care of the problem.

Both events were successful. In 2016 the crab fest raised more than $7,000, and last year the total was more than $10,000.

“What we learned from the experience was that things happen, and it’s how you react that sets you apart,” says Bowe.

The volunteer experience has enriched his life and that of others. “We feel a deeper connection with each other, those we help and our surroundings knowing we are putting forward our time and effort to help others and to make our community a better place without asking anything in return,” he says.

Up and Moving

Judy David, 50, of Newark, has also discovered what social science researchers have long known.

Judy David

“Volunteering does make me happier,” she says, “especially tangible acts where you can see the benefits of your actions.”

For David, volunteering has another benefit. “I’m inclined to be too sedentary for my own good,” she says. “Volunteering gets me up and about and moving, instead of sitting on the couch and watching TV and snacking.”

David’s motivation comes from the impact she’s making. An assistant custodian at the University of Delaware, she is one of several volunteers at Network Delaware, an advocacy group that helped push a resolution last December making the city of Newark a safe community for immigrants. The resolution declared Newark a “welcoming city” to everyone, regardless of immigration status. 

Jerika Diaz

For Jerika Diaz, 29, volunteering brings a healthy balance to her life. An assistant manager at DT Bank in Wilmington, Diaz, for the past seven years, has volunteered for the bank’s financial literacy program, teaching students in grades K-12. She also volunteers for ASPIRA, a non-profit organization that helps Latino students move beyond a high school education to college.

“Volunteering gives me a sense of satisfaction,” says Diaz. “It truly makes me happy to know that I’m giving back. Every time I volunteer I am reminded as to why I do what I do and that is to change, transform, and ignite life into those who will allow me to.”

Hamid Hazartouz, 56, spends much of his spare time cleaning up the Washington Heights neighborhood of Wilmington. “It helps me to surround myself with beauty,” says Hazartouz. “Cleaning a neighborhood maximizes that beauty and feeling for me. I feel I’m an artist creating something that’s beautiful.”

For the past seven years, on Tuesday afternoons, the avid gardener and his friend, Stanley Sharp, arm themselves with grocery plastic bags and trash pickers to tackle soda cans, cigarette packs and other

Hamid Hazartouz

debris from the streets. The two volunteer in the neighborhood association’s clean- up and beautification committee. Hazartouz, an Iranian native and credit analyst at JPMorgan Chase in Wilmington, bought his first home in the neighborhood. He says volunteering gives him renewed motivation and creativity, making him—you guessed it—happier.

WAYS TO VOLUNTEER

In Delaware there are numerous volunteer opportunities.

Here are a few resources:

• VolunteerMatch: volunteermatch.org

• Volunteer Delaware: volunteerdelaware.org

• Delaware State Parks: destateparks.com/volunteers

• Volunteer Delaware 50+: volunteerdelaware.org

• Ronald McDonald House of Delaware: rmhde.org

• Summer High School Volunteer Program/Nemours: nemours.org

• New Castle County: nccde.org 

• Literacy Delaware: literacydelaware.org